Page 23 - Jewish News_January 2022

JEWISH INTEREST January 2022 23A

Aging Jewishly – What our traditions teach us about growing old

B’ray-sheet – Beginning When a loved one dies by suicide

By Rabbi Barbara Aiello
Another use of m’ray-sheet is s her cell phone slid from her to millions of television viewers. Her vivor programs existed to help family Jewish legalist, Rabbi Moshe Isser-
found in the words of Ecclesiastes who grasp, it occurred to Dorothy story and her family’s grief were pub- members cope. Today, help is available les, who wrote that “new knowledge”
suggests tov a-cha-rit da-var m’ray- Athat she was in shock. The lic knowledge, so much so that Dr. both in person and virtually, as surviv- should always inform the application
shee-toh, literally ‘better the end of room was spinning, so much so that Ashton shared her experience in her ing family members learn to live in of Jewish tradition. Regarding suicide,
a matter than the beginning thereof,’ Dorothy grabbed recent book, Life After Suicide: Find- the present, express their thoughts and modern rabbis apply the “new knowl-
meaning it is the end results that count the back of her ing Courage, Comfort & Community feelings – among them anger and grief edge” concept and explain that suicide
not the beginning action. (Ecc. 7:8) kitchen chair and After Unthinkable Loss. Dr. Ashton – find appropriate distractions, and is not a rational act deserving of pun-
Last, but not least, we should men- stumbled forward highlights her emotional journey, the when emotion overwhelms, cry. ishment but the result of a terminal
tion the statement regarding the cre- in an awkward at- impact of her ex-husband’s violent For us Jews, traditional Jewish law mental illness – a tragic condition suf-
ation story in Genesis where it states: tempt to sit down. death, and how she found the strength regarding suicide has seemed to add fered by Dr. Rob Ashton, Cousin Ni-
b’ray-sheet bara Elohim, which is Now with her to support her children and heal after insult to injury. Taking one’s life is of- na’s husband and countless others who
translated by most, ‘in the beginning head on the table, their tragic loss. ficially a violation of Jewish law and, deserve our compassion, and whose
God created.’ However, some prefer the Dorothy felt the Teen and young adult suicide is on in years past, the suicide victim could families need and appreciate our kind-
translation, ‘when God began to create.’ cool of the For- the rise – a national tragedy that must not be buried in a Jewish cemetery but ness and support.
(Gen. 1:1) Either way, b’ray-sheet can Rabbi Barbara Aiello mica, which was not be ignored – but it is important to would be interred outside the cemetery Rabbi Barbara Aiello served Aviva
receive several meanings depending enough to snap her back into reality. note that Rob Ashton was a husband, gate. Mourning customs would not be Senior Living in Sarasota as resident
on context. B’ray-sheet means ‘start,’ “Why do they say? No news is father and well-established profession- observed and the family of the suicide rabbi for 10 years. She now lives and
‘beginning,’ ‘inception,’ ‘outset,’ ‘com- good news?” Dorothy said aloud. It has al when he took his own life. Dorothy’s victim would often be ostracized by works in Italy where she is rabbi of
mencement,’ ‘Genesis’ and ‘choice.’ been months since Dorothy had heard cousin Nina’s spouse also fit the same their Jewish community. Italy’s first Reconstructionist syna-
In post-Biblical Hebrew, ma-a-se from her cousin Nina. Yet, no matter. profile. Health professionals find that Gratefully, contemporary rabbis gogue. You may reach her at Rabbi@
b’ray-sheet means ‘cosmogony.’ (Ha- Regardless of how often they spoke, suicide among older adults, in gener- have followed the guidance of the great RabbiBarbara.com.
giga 1:2) Dorothy and Nina were close. They al, and specifically among the elderly,
The philosopher Even Gevirol of had a special bond. That’s why Doro- is increasing. When considering elder Rabbi Barbara Aiello’s most popular
11 -century Spain encapsulated it all thy assumed, although it had been sev- suicide, many of these deaths can be
th
in his poem Adon Olam, in which he eral months, that everything was okay. under-reported by 40% or more. In ad- columns are now published in her new
referred to God as the Master of the But it wasn’t. Cousin Nina broke the dition, recent statistics do not include book, Aging Jewishly, available on
Universe who is b’li ray-shit or ‘with- news and Dorothy again addressed the what psychologists term “silent sui- Amazon. It makes a great gift!
out a beginning nor an end.’ empty room. “I can’t believe it. Nina’s cides,” such as death from drug over-
In Modern Hebrew, b’ray-sheet husband committed suicide.” doses, alcoholism, self-starvation or
also means ‘a pioneering act.’ Also, Sadly, Dorothy’s story is not dehydration. And many among the el-
Ye-a-rot b’ray-sheet literally means unique. In fact, in a recent article that derly population, some of whom suffer WINNER!
‘forest of the beginning of time,’ refer- appeared on the American Association from suicidal thoughts brought on by 4 Years in a Row
WINNER!
ring to the primordial forest, whereas for Marriage and Family Therapy web- depression, are reluctant to seek pro-
4 Years in a Row
Lakehouse West
cha-yot b’ray-sheet refers to the ani- site, sociologists report that although fessional help. Lakehouse West
mals of old, like the dinosaurs which “older adults make up 12% of the U.S. What can be done? Health profes-
roamed the earth and now are extinct. population, they account for 18% of sionals emphasize that friends and fam- R E T IR E M E N T E S T A T
R E T IR E M E N T E S T A T E E
So now that we went back to b’ray- all suicide deaths.” The statistic is an ily members need to be aware of the
sheet, investigating words of primordi- alarming one especially since elderly warning signs of impending suicide,
al time, while moving on to the future persons make up the fastest-growing which include loss of interest in activ-
in the counting of time, as we say in segment of the U.S. population. The ar- ities and friends, deterioration in hy-
Hebrew, ray-sheet kol, first and fore- ticle cautions that given these statistics, giene and grooming, feeling hopeless,
most, I wish all our readers a happy “the issue of later-life suicide (has be- expressing an urgent need to change a
year m’ray-sheet ha-shannah, from the come) a major public health priority.” will or give away prized possessions, ank you to our staff and residents
beginning of the year onward. May it If your life has been touched by stockpiling medication, canceling med- during these difficult times.
be a year of peace and joy. the suicide of a loved one, you are not ical appointments or sharing ominous Our Lakehouse West Family

Dr. Rachel Zohar Dulin is a professor alone. As with so many, I, too, have ex- remarks such as, “This is the last time is stronger than ever! 2017
of biblical literature at Spertus Col- perienced this mind-bending loss, most you’ll see me.”
(941) 923-7525
lege in Chicago, and a retired adjunct recently when I learned of the suicide Yet many suicide victims do not 3435 Fox Run Road | Sarasota, FL 34231
professor of Hebrew and Bible at New death of Dr. Rob Ashton. exhibit obvious signs and signals. www.lakehousewest.com
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ton, ABC News’ Chief Medical Corre- pression may lead to suicide, with the
spondent, and their children Alex and grieving family left behind to cope.
Chloe, all traveled to our mountain Dr. Jennifer Ashton’s book offers
synagogue in southern Italy to cele- a roadmap to managing this unthink-
brate as Alex became a Bar Mitzvah. able tragedy while Diana Raab offers
The family was joyful, loving and car- help in a 2021 article, “How to Cope
SUPPORT ing. Little sister Chloe was so proud of with the Suicide of a Loved One.”
Friendship at Home her big brother and eagerly awaited her Ms. Raab’s interest in the subject is
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