Page 72 - The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin_Neat plip book

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Dvoretsky wanted to break me—shock and awe—and Razuvaev wanted to bring

out my natural shine. As it was, per hap s because of his own playing style, my
full-time coach was drawn to Dvoretsky ’s concl usions —an d so from the age of
sixteen a large part of my chess educat ion involved distancing myself from my
natural talents and integrating this Karpo vian br and of chess. As a resul t, I lost

my center of gravity as a competitor. I was told to ask myself,“Wha t would
Karpov play here?” and I stopped trus ting my int ui tion becau se it was no t
naturally Karpovian. When the maelstrom sur roundi ng Searching for Bobby
Fischer hit me, a big part of my struggl e holdi ng cour se stemmed from my

sense of alienation from my natur al voice as an artist. I lacke d an inne r
compass.
Reflecting back on the last years of my chess career, more than anythi ng else
I am struck by the complexity of the issues conf ront ing an artist or compe titor

on a long-term learning curve. It woul d be too easy to say that one or two
factors were decisive in pushing me away from chess. I coul d say tha t the fi m
Searching for Bobby Fischer put too much pressure on my sho ul der s. I coul d say
that a bad teacher distanced me from my natur al love for the gam e. I coul d say

that I discovered happiness elsewher e. B ut all thi s woul d be t oo simpl e.
To my mind, the fields of learning and performance are an expl oration of
greyness—of the in-between. There is the careful bal ance of pus hi ng your self
relentlessly, but not so hard that you melt down. Mus cles and minds ne ed to

stretch to grow, but if stretched too thi n, they will snap . A compet itor ne eds to
be process-oriented, always looking for stronger oppo nen ts to spur gr owth, but
it is also important to keep on winni ng enough to maintain con nc e. We
have to release our current ideas to soak in new material, but no t so muc h tha t

we lose touch with our unique natur al talent s. Vibr ant, creative ide alism ne eds
to be tempered by a practical, t echni cal awareness.
Navigating our way to excellence is tricky. Ther e are sho als on eithe r side of
the narrow channel and in my chess career I ran into more than one . The effects

of moving away from my natural voice as a competitor were particularly
devastating. But with the perspective of time, I under stand that I was offered a
rare opportunity to grow. Much of what I believe in today has evolved from the
brutal testing ground of my nal years in ch ess.