Page 48 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

How To Survive Baby Loss

hat is next? Does it feel like you are moving forward in
Wlife? This could be a conversation with your spouse. It
could be looking for answers and trying IVF for the first time
or twentieth time? Is it time to pursue counseling to help with
your grief and loss, or your sadness at being unable to have any
more children? What do you have control over? Frankly, the
answer to this question is usually your response.

People will bring up many different ways to ask you about
having another baby after loss. Some of them are less helpful
than others: You are young, you can always have more kids. Your
time is ticking, when are you going to try again? Are you planning on
giving so-and-so a brother or sister?

A rainbow pregnancy, that is a pregnancy after a baby loss,
must be in your own timing. We all have our own timeline. You
may have been trying as soon as the doctor cleared you. Physi-
cal, emotional or health reasons can add some extra time to the
process of adding to your family. Initially, I was wanting to get
pregnant as soon as I could after our loss. The doctor told us
to wait six months after our stillbirth before trying. However,
when it came time, my dad asked me to see a doctor to make
sure my body was balanced, which I agreed would be a good
idea. This took an entire frustrating year of seeing two different
doctors.

You may never face future pregnancies the way you have
pre-loss pregnancy. Some changes may be circumstantial. In my
case, I loved our successful home birth with our living daughter
and wanted to have all my pregnancies at home, but this point,
my days of having a homebirth are over.

Other changes are internal, for fear likes to come knocking
about future attempts for a healthy pregnancy. I have to chal-
lenge my fears and send them to Jesus. We have to “wash” our
mind with God’s promises when we know the worse case sce-
nario situations. Be prepared to practice cognitions to help you
face fears. I can do this. I know what can happen, worst case, but
for this moment, everything is okay. My child will live. Presently,
everything is fine, and nothing has led me to believe otherwise. I will

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