Page 53 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

The Why, the Reason and Faith

he “why” is often a stumbling block. “Why would God
Tallow this if He is God? How can God do this to me? Why
did my prayers not get answered?” What were your “why”
questions?

One person said to me who lost her seven-year-old many
years ago, “If you just can find the reason why this happened,
then you will feel better.” I appreciate her reaching out, al-
though I realized, I struggled less with “the why,” and more
with not being able to change that story or outcome. Her “why”
question was definitely not my “why” question. It will be dif-
ferent for all of us. My “why” question was, “Why did it have
to happen at all!”

We surrendered and saw firsthand God using our story for
the kingdom. While I was grateful to glimpse into my why
question, I just wanted our baby. I knew “the reason” in my
limited understanding, but still struggled with our loss.

That is a hard one, because some are quick to shout, “Ev-
erything happens for a reason.” This statement, in a way, true,
can be triggering to many. Yet, it is correct that even if the death
seems “senseless or pointless,” their life is not void of purpose.
I will admit in the very beginning the verses that people gave
me felt like sawdust in my mouth. They felt empty in spite of
the fact that they were from the Author of Life. I was deeply
hurting. God cared and yet took my baby. It is okay to be like
David and to cry out and to tell your soul to not be so downcast
and depressed.

God will not let you stay there as you seek His heart. The
narrative that says, “If He loved you, He would not have al-
lowed this to happen,” and “If you loved me you would save
my child,” are lies about God that you need to protect your
mind and heart from believing.

In your moments of wrestling, have you asked, “Why did
this happen?” Why did God allow this? If you had an answer,
would you be satisfied? Andrea, mother of Garren, penned the
following thoughts, “Some have questioned whether or not God took
Garren from us. Some say that God is our comforter, our healer and

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