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How To Survive Baby Loss



               is carrying new life, and bringing it into the world. There are
               even some who think that women’s liberation won’t be com-
               plete until science has made a way for men to carry babies! This
               proves that they see this distinction between men and women
               as an oppressive shackle.

                  But if you are reading this, you already know the importance
               and wonder of carrying a child. If you are in the stages where
               you are continuing to try to get pregnant, you understand the
               value in what you are doing. Moving on for you would be get-
               ting pregnant again. Trust your doctor to tell you when your
               body is ready. Meanwhile nourish it and prepare it for the task
               as best you can.

                  But for those for whom carrying more children is not an op-
               tion, your decisions now are about whether you will seek adop-
               tion or move on to the next stage of your life. If you have had
               children already, God has plenty yet for you to do in raising
               them. Your life will continue to overflow with purpose in moth-
               erhood.

                  If you do not have children and trying is no longer an option,
               I want you to know that I am truly sorry for you, because I know
               the depth of your desire to carry a child and bring them home.
               I know that there have already been well-meaning people who
               have tried to encourage you toward the “consolation prize” of
               adoption, and I know that it hasn’t helped. Still, adoption is a
               high calling, as is fostering. In reality, it is no consolation prize
               at all. Our Father in heaven has blessed us with the gift of adop-
               tion as sons and daughters. He has made us his true children by
               the sacrifice of his only begotten Son, and adoption means that
               he is our real Father. I don’t know if that is what He will call
               you to, but you will know if He does, and to adopt a child who
               needs a mother and father is a special and Christlike calling.
                  It is okay to grieve moving on from the hopeful stage of car-
               rying children to the next stages God has planned for you. For
               most of you it is raising children through the stages of their de-
               velopment, trusting God that He has designed your family the
               way He wants it, and being attentive to what is in front of you.




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