Page 62 - REACHING ALWAYS FOR MY SECOND ELEMENT

OUR vERY LAST SHABBAT TOgETHER

Friday was a good day for Joyselyn, and I must say better than most. We had some fun playing and joking.

As evening came and Shabbat was nearing, she began a conversation on more of a personal note. We

talked about what dreams we had for our future when she got better. We were both hopeful and trusting
that God would see fit to light our path and make away. She was still in pain. I could tell how she spoke

and handled herself, but that heavenly smile came through as Joyselyn assured me she was okay and not

to worry. She always had a habit of doing that, always looking out for me. She discussed planning to meet
Tyler, Danielle, and the girls and working on her garden; Joyselyn always enjoyed growing things. As the

night got longer, the pain became more and more unbearable. I asked several times if she wanted to

return to the hospital, and she always replied, " No, I will be okay.

She had an appointment with a doctor for a procedure to relieve her abdomen pressure called EGD
(esophagogastrodenoscopy). On Monday, January 20th, just two days away.

I helped Joyselyn undress for bed as usual and removed her socks, pants, shirt, and undergarments. Help

her in bed. Because of her sleep problems, we had not shared the same bed for several years. I would put

the sofa cushions on the floor beside her to hear if she needed help. We had a rule that she would call me

to help when she needed to visit the restroom. Why would she ever think she was a burden on me? I sure

do not know what to do. I feel so lost without her. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I not call for
Ambulance hours sooner?

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