Page 64 - REACHING ALWAYS FOR MY SECOND ELEMENT

NEvER THOUgHT THIS DAY COULD EvER BE.

The grief and the sadness keep coming, as well as the hours of endless sleep. My only companion is a

30” computer screen looking back at me. I leave the speakers off so I might hear Joyselyn speak, and
the silence is deafening. My vision is so blurred that I think I may be going blind. I know now that it’s

not just the tears in the way; they are so strained, wanting to see Joyselyn at every turn. My mind is

starving without all she was to me—food without taste and seemingly no real purpose but to carry out
my suffering even more. Oh, how I miss looking deep into those eyes and wrapping my arms around

Her. A warmth nevermore to be felt. Wanting to say those words that mean so much. “Oh, how I am

so In Love with You. “ How I wish I could once again lie down beside You. How long must I wait?
Now January 31st, activities include going to the courthouse to pick up Death Certificate. It did not

seem like a big issue until it was placed in my hand—another breakdown, pain, and anger. Inwardly, of

course. A well-intended gentleman in line with his new girlfriend overheard my conversation with the

clerk, spoke up, and said he was sorry for my loss. He continued to tell me he had lost his wife three
years ago. He assured me that I would get over IT. I thanked him but had to clarify that my wife

Joyselyn, our marriage, and our life together were not an IT.

Continue 64