Page 109 - Meeting with Children Book

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Moral development is also linked to distinguishing the truth
from a lie. As noted by Talwar and Lee (2002) more 7 year
olds will lie than for instance 3 year olds, because 7 year-
olds can contemplate potential negative consequences of
being impulsively honest and they aim to avoid aversive
personal outcomes. Lying is an expected normative action
for all people. Taking credit for success and blaming others
for failure maintains a positive self-view.

Moral development begins in early childhood. Toddlers
learn about concepts of "correct and incorrect" behaviors
from their primary caregivers. Internalization begins with a
child having learned from a caregiver's strong emotional
reaction that he/she is not allowed to or must not do
something. Even though the child would really like to drop
the glass ornament to see what happens, she inhibits this
behavior and implicitly acknowledges his/her caregiver's
point of view. This is the beginning of internalization. Early
learning of social rules begins through the observation of
parent behaviors (how a parent copes with stress, sets
limits, and acts consistently or inconsistently). With the
onset of language by the age of 2, the child picks up tone
related to words. Words increase the likelihood of
internalization. Early scolding and parent disapproval can
begin the child's inner dialogue. Children can be heard
talking to themselves (you can't do that...) or playing out a
parent intervention.

Thompson (1988) found that non-disciplinary information
provided to a child to help them to anticipate an outcome
after an unwanted action are more successful at inhibiting
negative behavior and in taking in the request. This is due
to the child not being in a heightened state of distressed
arousal at the time of the caregiver intervention. The use of
respect and empathy vs. fear and shame go further in
instilling values. It does not mean that the caregiver does
not raise his/her voice, rather the parent uses a calm