Page 174 - Meeting with Children Book

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During the ages of 13-18 years emotional maturity
increases and with this comes an increase in vulnerability
because greater intimacy is possible. Increased trust
amongst peers is necessary as teens tend to turn to friends
over family members to gain support and proximity when
they are upset, afraid, or worried. Reliance on friends marks
the beginning of autonomy. Teens will change their speech,
dress, behavior, and activities in order to look and act like
their peers. This is related to the need for general
acceptance and it contributes to a sense of security.
Because of the reliance on peers, they become highly
influential - both positively and negatively. Advanced
cognitive development assists in encouraging wise
decisions and assisting each other to avoid harm and act
prosocially. Parents often worry about negative influencing
but forget about the positive influence that is possible.
Teens will align with others that are "like" them and spend
time with those that share common interests, activities and
culture. If an adolescent is attracted to someone dissimilar
to him/her, it may be related to experimentation which is
important related to identity formation.

During this developmental phase, it is important for teens
to belong to a social group. Qualitatively, belonging looks
different to the group focus of the 8-12 year olds. For
adolescents, group cohesion and support creates a sense of
security and safety. It is important to feel that your friends
are loyal during this time period as teens are transferring
some of their emotional reliance from their parents on to
their friends. They are creating a social support system. The
downside of friendship reliance is the fact that sometimes
cliques form, some friends are left out, rejected or labeled.
Power issues emerge in peer groups and this can result in
conflict between groups or within groups. Power issues can
be related to physical, social, financial or cognitive
differences. Bullying can emerge due to disparities and
power imbalances.