Page 36 - Meeting with Children Book

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objects (regular play objects or non-conventional
objects) children show and tell about important things
in their lives. This is different to them answering
questions you have formulated for them.
Understanding the play is important, but this is done
through listening to what the child says about what
their play is about or means. Hypotheses can be
drawn from what they say if they say very little. Some
things are very literal such as “this is me and this is my
mom doing…” and other things expressed by children
are non-literal such as “this baby fish is following the
bigger fish all around the world”. Regardless, having
objects that allow children to imagine and speak
about their worlds is very important. When using
picture cards for instance, children can project their
ideas and thoughts onto an image. It is easier to
choose a picture and provide some ideas as to why
you chose a picture by following the instruction:
“Which one reminds you of mom, dad or your sister
or brother? versus “How do you feel about your
father?” Children speak out when they can also see
the story in front of them. Children are allowed space
and distance from distressing issues and experiences
and are able to put forward complex issues without
having to emotionally manage them in a ‘here and
now’ way. It is a return to what you also knew how to
do as a child.

Why does direct interviewing through
questions often fail?
Direct questioning of children often fails. You can
formulate the perfect questions, but children become
immobilized, pivot from your intrusions and either do