Page 79 - Meeting with Children Book

P a ge | 77

Regular mismatched responding may be based on the
caregiver’s own emotional development and/or
attachment factors resulting from his/her history of
being parented. An example of over-responding may
be that the caregiver starts to cry or provides a
panicked response to a child who has fallen down and
cut her leg. Under responding occurs when a child
must continually cry out or act out to gain any
recognition of a significant (or at times a minor) need
or feeling state. Sensitive, accurate and timely
responding is extremely important in the formation of
the infant or child’s self-regulatory system. Reliable,
consistent, sensitive and accurately delivered
parenting generally results in a child being internally
organized (emotionally and cognitively) and able to
regulate his/her behaviors in pro-social ways.

ATTACHMENT RELATIONSHIP: NOT

THE SAME AS A “GOOD”
RELATIONSHIP

Why is an attachment relationship different to a
having a good relationship with someone? The
patterns of attachment are complex and require the
attachment figure to a) be attuned to a child’s signals
(calls) for proximity; b) be able to interpret the call
accurately and; c) be capable of satisfying the child’s
seeking behavior promptly. This attuned quick
responding occurs during more than 10,000 daily
caregiver/child interactions. Because of these
caregiver/child interactions, patterns are set not just