Page 12 - Meeting with Children Manual

Section 1 P a ge | 10

By not speaking with children about their experiences of their parents’ separation, we
are not somehow protecting them from their parents’ fights.
Children are living their parents’ wars, and by not meeting with them we are
removing an important opportunity for them to speak about their unique
experiences of their post separation families.
Children have views already. By meeting with children, we are not creating their
experiences, we are just hearing about them.

 Children and youth can voice opinions about their experience of their parents’
disagreements, without expressing a wish about which parent they prefer, which
parent they agree with or which parent they would prefer to live with.
 Children have important things to say about themselves post-separation that may
not have anything to do with their parents.
 The views expressed by a child are private to that child and may or may not be
discussed with parents, according to practitioner judgment and the child’s wishes.
 Across all jurisdictions our work with families is becoming more difficult. Family
complexity seems to be increasing. Getting our work right requires greater skills
and expertise than ever before.
 Separation and post separation is a high-risk time for families. Collaboration
across the traditional silos of the family law sector is necessary to ensure that
family and individual safety is not compromised.

THE CHILD VOICE

The Convention on the Rights of the Child (United Nations General Assembly
resolution 44/25 (1989)).

Article 3:
In all actions concerning children, whether undertaken by public or private social
welfare institutions, courts of law, administrative authorities or legislative bodies, the
best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration.
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