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Why does the boy take his Kippah off?
How does this happen in ‘our’ families?... how can you
understand a child who grew up in a
‘sane’ home, tolerant, open and with
sacred pluralism… and out of the
blue takes his Kippah off? How do
you explain it? And how do you deal
with the pain”.
Ya’el Mish’ali writes for family day
In the past, I couldn’t understand the parents who have cut
themselves off from their children who became, or stopped
being, religious. I used to think that becoming religious or
ceasing to be one has to do with a newly found belief or a
breach in faith. All within the boundaries of the relations
between a man and his G-d. There are those who find him
suddenly and those who lose him.
Today, after years of observing and listening to the young
people who are unraveling their initial lives, I know that nothing
is about G-d. Not for those becoming religious, and not for those
who are taking the opposite journey. When someone takes off
his Kippah or suddenly puts it on, he does so because he has lost
his sense of belonging in the natural place where he grew up. In
the family and in the community.
In this sense, parents who cut themselves off from their children
are not doing something unusual and surprising; they are
strengthening what existed in the first place in the foundation of
their relationship with the child. They repeat whatever made the
child choose a different life. They highlight everything that
disappoints and blocks.
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