Page 618 - of-human-bondage-

‘No, I won’t see him,’ said Philip.
He could see she did not care if he saw Griffiths or not.
Now that she was there he wanted her to go quickly.
‘Look here, here’s the fiver. I’d like you to go now.’
She took it and thanked him. She turned to leave the
room.
‘When are you coming back?’ he asked.
‘Oh, on Monday. Harry must go home then.’
He knew what he was going to say was humiliating, but
he was broken down with jealousy and desire.
‘Then I shall see you, shan’t I?’
He could not help the note of appeal in his voice.
‘Of course. I’ll let you know the moment I’m back.’
He shook hands with her. Through the curtains he
watched her jump into a four-wheeler that stood at the door.
It rolled away. Then he threw himself on his bed and hid his
face in his hands. He felt tears coming to his eyes, and he
was angry with himself; he clenched his hands and screwed
up his body to prevent them; but he could not; and great
painful sobs were forced from him.
He got up at last, exhausted and ashamed, and washed his
face. He mixed himself a strong whiskey and soda. It made
him feel a little better. Then he caught sight of the tickets to
Paris, which were on the chimney-piece, and, seizing them,
with an impulse of rage he flung them in the fire. He knew
he could have got the money back on them, but it relieved
him to destroy them. Then he went out in search of some-
one to be with. The club was empty. He felt he would go mad
unless he found someone to talk to; but Lawson was abroad;

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