Page 338 - the-brothers-karamazov

father, forgive him!’ — yes, he actually cried ‘forgive him.’
He clutched at that hand, that very hand, in his little hands
and kissed it.... I remember his little face at that moment, I
haven’t forgotten it and I never shall!’
‘I swear,’ cried Alyosha, ‘that my brother will express his
most deep and sincere regret, even if he has to go down on
his knees in that same market-place.... I’ll make him or he
is no brother of mine!
‘Aha, then it’s only a suggestion! And it does not come
from him but simply from the generosity of your own warm
heart. You should have said so. No, in that case allow me to
tell you of your brother’s highly chivalrous soldierly gener-
osity, for he did give expression to it at the time. He left off
dragging me by my beard and released me: ‘You are an of-
ficer,’ he said, ‘and I am an officer, if you can find a decent
man to be your second send me your challenge. I will give
satisfaction, though you are a scoundrel.’ That’s what he
said. A chivalrous spirit indeed! I retired with Ilusha, and
that scene is a family record imprinted forever on Ilusha’s
soul. No, it’s not for us to claim the privileges of noblemen.
Judge for yourself. You’ve just been in our mansion, what
did you see there? Three ladies, one a cripple and weak-
minded, another a cripple and hunchback and the third
not crippled but far too clever. She is a student, dying to
get back to Petersburg, to work for the emancipation of the
Russian woman on the banks of the Neva. I won’t speak of
Ilusha, he is only nine. I am alone in the world, and if I die,
what will become of all of them? I simply ask you that. And
if I challenge him and he kills me on the spot, what then?