Page 490 - the-brothers-karamazov

Chapter 2

The Duel

SPENT a long time, almost eight years, in the military
I cadet school at Petersburg, and in the novelty of my sur-
roundings there, many of my childish impressions grew
dimmer, though I forgot nothing. I picked up so many new
habits and opinions that I was transformed into a cruel, ab-
surd, almost savage creature. A surface polish of courtesy
and society manners I did acquire together with the French
language.
But we all, myself included, looked upon the soldiers in
our service as cattle. I was perhaps worse than the rest in
that respect, for I was so much more impressionable than
my companions. By the time we left the school as officers,
we were ready to lay down our lives for the honour of the
regiment, but no one of us had any knowledge of the real
meaning of honour, and if anyone had known it, he would
have been the first to ridicule it. Drunkenness, debauch-
ery and devilry were what we almost prided ourselves on. I
don’t say that we were bad by nature, all these young men
were good fellows, but they behaved badly, and I worst of
all. What made it worse for me was that I had come into my