Page 38 - Holly Carney Issue (3)

Glorious Summer!

By Mary Berney
Certified Life and Career Coach
“May Gray and June Gloom” are grudgingly accepted by San and joy. It is the process of visualizing yourself in that very
Diegan’s because we know we will emerge from those foggy, moment and reliving the feelings, sounds, sights, sensations,
windy, and chilly temperatures to those wonderful glorious and thoughts.
days of summer. Summer! Oh how we love summer. We
love the thought of fresh lemonade, picnics on the beach, Stop for a moment and do this unique exercise. Sit comfort-
backyard barbeques and sweet juicy watermelon! There’s ably in a chair, close your eyes, and bring into your con-
nothing else like it! sciousness a special moment. Can you hear the people
around you? Is there a unique smell in the air? Is it daylight
Remember how you used to measure your life by your sum- or evening? Is the sun shining brightly? Is the moon shining
mer vacation – the time between Memorial Day and Labor through the trees? Is it quiet and still? Where are you? Who
Day? So many wonderful and life-altering experiences are you with?
occurred during this time. June brought graduation from high If you are wondering what kind of moment to chose, you can
school or college; weddings – ours and our best friends; and pick from some of the suggestions above, or take a moment
Father’s Day. In July we were celebrating Independence Day to read about an incredible woman I met and how she dis-
with family members, traveling across the United States or covered her special visualization moment. Flying from San
Europe meet- Francisco to San
ing interesting Diego, I sat next
people and to an 82 year
seeing the old woman who
world from a proudly shared
new vantage her age and
point. August that she wants
38 was full of more in her
life. She was
beach parties,
backyard vibrant, com-
barbeques municative and
and fun sum- engaging. She
mer nights was telling me
spent dancing bits and pieces
and laughing! of her life and
Remember concluded her
those special story by adding
moments? that her daugh-
ters were trying
These to help her with
exceptional her anxious mo-
times often ments by telling
bring incred- her to visualize
ible feelings and memories and help us reminisce and even “walking through a forest with lots of trees.”
daydream about very special moments in our lives. These
important events (or moments) are often called “rites of pas- She told me that she simply could not put herself in that situ-
sage” – times that forever change our lives and transition ation no matter how hard she tried. She just wasn’t “the walk-
us from one phase to another. High school graduation, for ing through the forest kind of gal.” I prompted her to think of
example, signifies moving from adolescence into early adult- some other kind of moments that elicit special feeling.
hood. Marriage signifies moving us from a single “care-free” As she described this moment in detail, I saw visible changes
life to one with greater commitment and responsibility. Dur- in her physical appearance. Her breathing slowed down, her
ing our life, we all have many turning points and experiences facial expression changed and a gentle peace came over
that shape the rest of our lives. her. She grinned from ear to ear. She and her husband, now
deceased, took a year to travel around the world when they
These turning points become the memories and stories of were young and without children. It was one of the most sig-
our life and also tell us a great deal about whom we are. nificant events of the year and her life. Eyes closed, seeing
The opportunity to daydream and reminisce is an important the picture in her mind, she told me that it was as if she was
part of our psychological health and helps us in our every there again, with him, in India. And although this experience
day grind at work and at home. Taking time to “transport” took place decades ago, in her mind it was as fresh and im-
you to that special moment is not only a stress management mediate as the day it happened.
technique, but a way to return to sense of empowerment
July/August 2008