Page 39 - Expert Issue 2015 (2)

Are You a Diva Mom?

6 Tips to Becoming

High Maintenance

By Lisa Matar

For those women out there who have young children, have settled into you don’t recognize yourself because you have lost your diva way, call in
their mommy roles, have just begun to get their bearings back and are for back up. Therapy is everything. (By the way, just about everyone you
now considering reclaiming their lives, the following list will lead you on know is already in therapy so don’t think twice.)
the right path. This will allow you to raise the bar to the point where you
are living a dignified, adult life yet again. The idea here is to accept some
perks for yourself. High maintenance is not a bad thing. Would you prefer 5. Get your pamper on
to be “low maintenance”? No way! Lets take a look at what we canto
enjoy a civilized, mature existence while benefiting your entire family. Go to the spa, indulge in a trip to the nail salon or enjoy a fabulous mas-
sage REGULARLY. This may require your husband’s assistance with the
children. Do not feel guilty. You are concerned they will miss you, but do
1. Your car not let this stop you from finding diva time. They actually won’t miss you
once they get going on with their games and toys. We all need time to be
Your husband goes to work in his 9-11. You are still schlepping around quiet, reflect and find our inner zen. This is well deserved time that is a
in a dirty minivan. what’s wrong with this picture? If you would be in basic requirement. Get going. Set an appointment today.
embarrassed to be seen driving this car outside the parking lot of your
preschool, it’s time to diva up your ride. You deserve it. Let’s get real. I
suggest a smaller car than you might gravitate towards. That way, there 6. Eat well
will not be any room for your children’s excess. Excess items include 45
toys, shoes, socks, food wrappers, multiple change of clothes, etc… You Set the standard for what you allow to enter your mouth. If you are still
are showing your children you have standards. filling up on your kid’s left over chicken nuggets and mac n cheese, reject San Diego
this! You are what you eat, and you deserve to eat real adult food. It is Woman
okay to set aside the time to make yourself a healthy meal. Make this
2. Get dressed happen and you will be feeding your hungry inner diva.

If you are regularly seen looking haggard in the checkout line at the What this comes down to is the standard you set for your life. If you only
grocery store at 1pm, still in your sweaty gym clothes, it’s time to diva up live for your children, you are selling yourself short. What will happen 39
your look. It doesn’t matter if you are going to Costco and the dry cleaner when your children become teenagers and they don’t need you as much?
or if you are paying bills alone in the house while the kids are at school. What will you do if you lose yourself completely over the years then your
If you spend 15 minutes of effort to put on cute jeans with a chic sweater children grow into adults and move on. Who will you be left with? Take
and some fun accessories you will feel more like a diva. Your spirit will control of your independence now and show your children the importance
brighten and your day will become more productive. of caring for yourself. After all, they will grow up to be just like you so
show them how wonderful you really are.

3. Find an interest

If you are catching up with an old friend and the only thing you have to
talk about is your children, we have a problem. Any person worth their
weight finds a way to expand their mind. Take an online class, join group
fitness, listen to a book in your car, volunteer on a non-profit board. Do
not lose touch with adult reality. If you fail here, the next diva checklist
item will become a permanent fixture.

4. Get a therapist.
For some of us mothers of young children, you may feel your identity is
slipping away. At one point in your life, you were a confident woman with
dreams of rising high in your industry. You had an address book full of
interesting friends to go to dinner with. You knew where your passport
was and actually used it. Now, your dreams come true if your day only
bears one tantrum, your children sleep by 9 and you gloriously sleep
through the night. Outside of being a full-time mom, you have nothing to
strive for. If you look in the mirror and wonder who that woman is, this is
a diva emergency. If you feel lost in the shuffle of raising your children, if Find the time to be an adult again