Page 25 - Mega Bridal Issue

He Said, She Said

Are men really from Mars and Women from
Venus, as author Dr. John Gray states in his
bestselling book? Do men and women re-
ally see things that differently? If given the
same question could their answers really
be so different? At San Diego Woman we
wanted to explore the differences between
"them" and "us". Read this month's install-
ment and find out how the sexes differ when
it comes to communicating with each other.
What topics would you like to see us duke it
out over in upcoming issues?
No topic is off limits, so write me at
editor@sandiegowoman.com. I can't wait to
hear from you!

He Said... She Said...

Weddings: It’s all about the woman. Grooms have always been I have to agree in part that the bride often wants to make it all about Her, but that’s
an ornament rolled out on ‘The Day’ carrying the knowledge that if because we are conditioned that way from childhood. We have spent a good part
the gala wasn’t perfect – it would be his fault… no matter how little of our childhood and adolescence dreaming about finding our ‘Prince Charming,’
he had to do with the planning. Most of us guys have accepted our stepping into that extravagant white wedding gown - which makes us look and feel San Diego
fate and waited for the estrogen to come back to normal so the like a princess - having the fairy tale wedding and driving off to a life of “Happily Woman
bliss of marriage could begin. Sound a bit rough? If you can get Ever After” So can you really blame us?
your guy to be honest with you I guarantee some version of this is The wedding industry even perpetuates this myth. A current ad on TV states,
true. “Everyone will be looking at her on your wedding day, but she will be looking at 25
We can do all the cake-taste-testing, wine tasting, and entrée you.” As if to imply that no matter what, the bride is the center of the universe on
looking you want but it’s always going to be your choice: Yet I this one special day, and if the groom is lucky, his bride will take notice of him. Is
feel a change is in the air. More and more I’m hearing that young this right? No, not by a long shot, this is a special day for both bride and groom.
men want a say in how the wedding goes. I recently read a letter I think the reason many brides take control of the wedding is because …they can.
to Dear Abby where the lady was beside herself because the man Men are surely excited at the prospect of marriage and their wedding day, but do
didn’t want orange (yes orange! Not peach) as the color choice for they really care if the linens match the bridesmaid’s dresses or who sits next to
the bridal party. It was becoming a game changer for her because, whom at the reception? Is it important to them that their bride’s gown is tulle or
after all, it was ‘her day.’ Abby set her straight: The day belongs to lace as long as she knocks them off their feet when they see her come down the
both of them and they should be equal partners in the choices. aisle?
I’ll grant you, many men don’t have much of a clue on color coordi- I have to admit in many cases the Mother of the Bride does feel a sense of
nation and the general flow of things, but they can learn. She can proprietary ownership of the day and may become totally out of control. This
make it a great part of the whole process by educating him (after can happen for several reasons; primarily if the Bride’s family is paying for the
all, they’ve got a lot of decorating to do in the future). That being wedding. In this day and age this may no longer be the norm with couples opting
said I started asking the young adult children of my friends, most to pay their own costs or at least aiding in the expenses to assure they have the
college age, what they thought. Three quarters of the guys wanted wedding of their dreams. One of the other reasons Moms get so involved is that
to be involved and quite a few of the young ladies thought it would this is their last chance to hold on to their little girl. It is a special bonding between
make more of a bond on their special day. The mothers of these mother and daughter, before she moves on to her own life and her own family.
kids were not accepting the concept well. The fathers were giving This reason, to me anyway, is easier to understand and not based on a monetary
me the look guys give guys when they have stepped in the wrong motive. Mothers tend to dream and plan this day, if not openly, then in their own
pool. heads from the moment the doctor pronounces the words in the delivery room,
In later conversations with the parents emotions had calmed and “you have a girl.” I think most brides would be thrilled with a groom who offers full
the consensus was (perhaps) that it was time to recognize things involvement in the wedding process and actually acts as if he is interested in all
were changing. I think it is long overdue… with the caveat that of the details, but let’s face it, most would rather be watching football or baseball
some moms still want it all about them. than sitting in a linen designer’s office contemplating color schemes.
For those who do care and take an active interest hats off to them, but be
prepared even if they do become fully committed to making their special day as
Fun & Personal Weddings perfect as possible, this is one time, well maybe not one time, but this the first time
that bride trumps groom. Honestly, it is our fairy tale so try not to bump heads
over details. If she really is dead set on fuchsia centerpieces, let it go and make
Weddingman.net her happy. All men know the adage, “A happy wife, makes for a happy life” so be
flexible and let her believe it is truly her day to live out her fairytale dreams.