Page 30 - Mega Bridal Issue

Once you have personal understandings clear, it is time to ad- could get to know one another. And they did live together for
dress finances. Prep-planning could alleviate problems before a couple of years which gave them a better idea of how things
they occur. Finances can bring down the grandest of kingdoms would work once they were wed. Statistics back up this choice,
so be willing to ask the tough questions: Are minor children and too – while cohabitation before first marriages correlate negatively
college plans considered? And for older couples, broach the with failure, living together before second marriages increases the
subject of life and long-term health insurance now when it’s easier success rate. So while it may not be for everyone, simply living
to get, so that one person isn’t forced into the position of caretaker together will undoubtedly force conversation about most of these
without financial assistance. Are retirement and social security important issues.
shared, and what tax implications result once you say “I do?” Is
a prenuptial agreement a good idea? Some people simply share The incredible benefits of a healthy relationship are numerous.
bills proportional to what they earn individually, and then keep the Having someone to help raise children with is wonderful, and fi-
“extra” money separate. Millie, a highly talented executive office nancial stability is a nice side reward, but Tina so beautifully added
manager, stopped working when children arrived, but this had that in addition to being in love, her contentment and enjoyment
been discussed ahead of time and was planned for and expected. of life is much higher than it was before – now that is something
You’ve worked hard to get where you are and you’ve survived at worth plunging into!
least one marriage—maybe a little protection ahead of time brings
financial comfort so you can get busy loving your new life.

And last but not least are the issues of children from prior mar- Anne R Daniells contributed this article with the assistance of
riages. Tina, a local business owner, recently married someone several friends who know the topic better than she does. After 24
who had two children close in age to her own. Her greatest years, she still hasn’t gotten through her first marriage!
concern was creating an integrated family and trying to co-parent
when she’d been a single parent for so long. As a solution, months
ahead of time, they facilitated several family events so the kids

A PICTURE PERFECT

SECOND WEDDING

30 By Anne R. Daniells

If a traditional wedding is what you want, but it’s not a first wedding for
both of you, you can still have it all! Wedding plans are personal, and you
truly can do it just about any way you prefer, according to Sharon Cole, an
award-winning San Diego wedding planner.
If this is a first marriage for one of the fiancés, then special attention needs
to be given to that person.
When planning the wedding, listen to the concerns of each person, and
come to a comfortable compromise. Keep in mind that most second mar-
riages are paid for by the bride and groom, so the budget has to be agreed
upon in the early stages of the engagement.
If a prior spouse passed away, the family is usually very supportive of the
spouse who is getting remarried. However, a conversation in advance will
let you know if attending the wedding will not be too emotional for them.
Even though this is a happy occasion, the loss of a loved one can still be
deeply felt. Sometimes, though, including everyone is exactly the right
thing to do. For example, focusing on the new family can be appropriate
and inclusive:
"Maria Gonzalez and Dave Clark invite you to join them as they celebrate
their wedding and, together with their Children, become one family."
Rules of etiquette state that gifts are not mandatory for a second wedding.
This is due to the fact that wedding gifts are traditionally given to help
a couple set up their household. Presumably, second-time brides and
grooms already have their own households. However, gifts are becoming
more common for a second wedding.
“Can I wear white?” is one of the most frequent questions Cole hears. Quite often, in a second marriage, that answer is “Yes!” If you have
already worn white and want to have a different look for your second marriage, choose a designer dress or suit. If the ceremony is an intimate
affair with family and a small selection of friends, a stylish cocktail dress works as well. Cole’s simple advice: “Wear whatever makes you feel
beautiful!”
Happy Planning!

Sharon Cole is the winner of the Wedding Wire “Bridal Choice Award 2012” and owner of A Dream Wedding by Sharon Cole, based in San
Diego. She can be found online at www.adreamweddingbysharon.com and on Facebook.