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Women of Distinction
Rhonda Hayes Curtis

An Epic Journey to Healing

By Judith A. Habert
Photos by Dawn Nicoli / Nicoli Productions

her remarkable ability to transform two of the greatest loves of my ney that led him unexpectedly back
adversity into opportunity. life,” Rhonda recalls. Her journey to Rhonda. They quickly formed
Married, at the age of 16, she through grief was harrowing, but it a bond over their shared experi-
soon became a mom to two beauti- was through writing that she found ences of loss and love. “It felt like
ful daughters, Charlotte and Sherry. solace. “I wasn’t initially a writer, but fate, and yes, Larry did get to meet
However, following a divorce, when journaling during Greg’s and Sher- Sherry before she passed,” Rhonda
her daughters were 12 and 10, she ry's illness was what kept me going. shares. Fifteen years later, Rhonda
relocated to San Diego. There, she Sherry knew how much writing and Larry’s marriage stands as a
found love again with Greg, who helped me cope; in her farewell testament to the idea that profound
asked her to marry him and helped letter, she encouraged me to write pain can lead to new beginnings
and beautiful futures.
After her daughter passed,
It is often said that our life Rhonda started writing seriously.
circumstances play a large role I wrote 10 - 12 hours a day. What
in shaping who we become. This I didn't realize at the time was that
statement obviously holds true for it was the best thing I could have
Rhonda Hayes Curtis. Rhonda is done for myself. First and foremost,
the creator and facilitator of the because it helped me through the
Pauma Valley Writer’s Retreat, grieving process, and it helped me
various writing seminars, and a bring them back to life in many
teacher of writing in San Diego. ways.”
What was of great interest to me At this point, Rhonda knew
was what made someone decide to that she wasn’t technically a writer;
embark on such a journey. she had never done this before. “I
Rhonda’s beginning years didn’t know how to write; I didn't
were what could easily be labeled know how to put a story together. I
as tumultuous. Rhonda was born her raise her children. Life wasn’t al- a book if it made me happy. That’s just had this burning passion within
in Florida, moved to Oregon, and ways easy, but lessons were learned exactly what I did.” myself to do the writing. And that's
then, at 6 years of age, moved to along the way, especially in 2007, Sherry also expressed a wish what made the difference in my life.
Tucson, Arizona. Arizona held when Greg and Sherry were both for her mother to seek compan- I allowed myself the time to do that.
many of her childhood memories, diagnosed with terminal cancer. ionship again. Despite her initial It was probably the most selfish
some of which were comforting, Amidst the overwhelming fear and hesitance, Rhonda honored this thing that I've ever done for myself.
others haunted her for most of her uncertainty, Rhonda turned to jour- request as one of her daughter’s Being a teenage mom, all I ever did
life. An absent father, of whom naling as a method to manage the final wishes. “I promised Sherry was take care of everyone around
she knew very little, except for complex web of medical treatments I’d do anything for her. The idea me. I never had time in my life to
one very vivid memory. Rhonda and caregiving duties. This practice of meeting someone new seemed do something just for me. “
shares, “I only have one memory of writing not only helped her to far-fetched, especially so soon after Rhonda immersed herself
of my father, and it is my first organize her thoughts during this losing Greg, but I couldn’t ignore in the study of writing. “I worked
memory in my life. He had a gun chaotic time but also became a vital her wish,” Rhonda explains. She with many different types of edi-
to my mother's head. My mother’s outlet for her emotions and a cor- ventured online and connected tors, including a book coach and
screams woke me in the middle of nerstone for her future in writing. with Larry, a widower who had a story structure specialist. I read
the night, and it was very traumat- “My younger daughter Sherry recently lost his wife of 32 years to books on writing, and I just started
ic. He left before the police came, was diagnosed with stage four colon a prolonged illness. “Our first con- studying and writing. I did this for
and I never saw him again.” For cancer at 33 and passed away at 35. versation started online, and soon six years. The result of this process
most of Rhonda's life, the image Just nine months before, I lost my we discovered we were neighbors, was “Love at the Last Minute”: A
continued to haunt her. Yet, Rhon- husband, Greg, to cancer as well. living just five miles apart.” Mother’s Journey to Courage, Ac-
da's narrative is not defined by Within less than a year, I faced Larry was traveling across the ceptance, and Wisdom by Rhonda
these challenges alone but also by the unimaginable grief of losing country to process his grief, a jour- Hayes Curtis, a beautiful story of

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