Page 400 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 with next section introductions-compressed

When you accept the responsibility of love...

When you accept the responsibility of loving someone, you promise to honour your partner. The first meaning of honour is respect. In good times and
bad, you are available for them.

An important part of love is dealing with the disappointments about our partner’s styles, abilities, capacities, and ways of connecting with us. This work is done
partly alone, and partly together. The solo work has two parts. One is to focus on the loveable aspects, great and small, of your lover. It more important than
most people realise, that you are often mindful and appreciative of the good qualities that have aroused love from the beginning to the present, ignoring the
problems. Two is to consciously review and refresh your awareness of your own actions with your partner.

The second part of the work, is managing one’s actions and reactions to make sure they add to the positive side of the relationship. It is crucial to be aware of
your partner’s interpretation of what you say and do. You are doing your job right when your partner interprets your action as meaning, “I am loved and cared
for”.

Honesty is Necessary in Love

“Love is nothing without truth.”

We have been systematically taught in our culture that lying is a normal part of our lives. We do it so often that we don't even notice it anymore.

Honesty is telling "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

Society's version of the truth is to tell the truth ONLY if it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, doesn't cause a conflict, and it makes you look good.

I'm not talking about the big lies here, but more about the consistent, persistent "lies of omission" and "white lies" we perpetuate almost every day. For most of
us, we don’t even consider these small untruths to be lies until we experience the exact opposite. The whole truth.

We don’t realise exactly how dishonest we’re being and how much of ourselves we’re holding back in the process. This dishonesty causes us to feel disconnected
from others and creates small walls between ourselves and the ones we love. When we withhold the whole truth, we withhold others from seeing all of us. This
may be fine in most relationships but not in your primary relationship with your partner. You want all of you to be loved, even those parts you presently judge
as bad or wrong.

To create the true intimacy and closeness of true love, you will have to let your partner see ALL of you. This is a scary process because you will fear
that they might get angry, or hurt, or decide that "all of you" isn’t what they wanted and leave the relationship. But then, what kind of relationship Page400
would it be if your partner only knows part of you. If it isn’t based on absolute truth, it will never be true love.