Page 401 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 with next section introductions-compressed

“Honesty can be tough but it's necessary if you want the close intimacy of true love.”

Many of us were taught that telling the truth is sometimes not being kind or loving, that it can separate us from what we want most, but telling the truth only
separates us from our lies and our confused, limited self-beliefs. Yes, the truth may hurt sometimes, but it never wounds the way a lie, an omission or half-truth
can.

Most of us were taught to avoid pain at all costs, so it is tough sometimes to face up to and share our truths, knowing that it may hurt a friend or lover or a
member of our family. But when we don't tell the truth, it builds an invisible wall between us and those we love. Our greatest fear is that the truth will be
distasteful to our lover and we will end up alone. The reality is that the longer we are together, the more we practice the truth, the more trust develops and the
easier the truth becomes. When we hide nothing, we can give everything.

What IS a healthy relationship?

How do you know whether your romantic relationship, love affair, or marriage is the right one for you? Do you feel happy as often as you would like, or sad
and miserable more often than you feel comfortable. As we saw earlier in the chapter, loving each other doesn’t provide all of the answers. If you have a
healthy relationship, you will know it and have little or no need to ask yourself these questions, because you already know the answers.

A healthy relationship doesn't make you feel miserable. You don't need to endlessly wonder about issues over which you have no control, such as 'Will he ever
change his ways like he promised he would?'

So many people settle for being unhappy as a way of life, why is that? All too often it's because they don't feel they deserve to be happy. Love shouldn't make
you feel bad.

Desperate, worried people tend to be possessive, jealous, clingy, needy, whiny, and/or unreasonable. When we love someone exhibiting these traits, is it any
wonder that this quality of love can actually alienate the person who is the object of such an overwhelming, all consuming love? Everyone needs their own
degree of personal space, and having such demands placed on you can be suffocating. Who among us feels capable of living up to such high standards as
making someone else deliriously happy?

Extremely needy people tend to be high maintenance in a love relationship, sometimes even in a simple friendship. It's not much fun to realise the person you
care about is constantly keeping score. It begins to feel as though you'll never pass their ‘test’. True love isn’t this draining and painful. There needs to be
plenty of room for each partner to stretch and grow. So, how does your relationship measure up in the healthy stakes? How healthy is it? After examining
whether you're mostly happy and content, or mostly sad and worried, you might want to consider the basic ingredients or characteristics of a healthy
relationship:
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