Page 46 - Once a copper 10 03 2020

However, when I looked either side of me in the line-up, in
comparison I looked like a bag of potatoes tied up at the middle.

We stood in what we thought was a straight line waiting for the
drill Sergeant.

We heard him before we saw him.

Unexpectedly, a loud booming voice bellowed from behind
us “CALL THAT A STRAIGHT LINE? YOU’RE MEANT TO BE A
PROFESSIONAL MARCHING SQUAD, NOT A FUCKING CONGA
LINE!” And suddenly Sergeant Tom Trickett was in front of us
facing the crooked line. He got us all to put up our right arm to
pace the distance between us and our neighbour, and this had
the effect of straightening the line as if by magic. He barked out
that his was the distance he expected us to be apart every
morning and woe betide us if the line was ever crooked again.

My heart started thumping as he walked down the line inspecting
the uniforms. In the April sunshine, his boots shone like mirrors. His
permanently stitched trouser creases were razor sharp and today
he not only had a red lanyard, but also an impressive red sash Figure 22 Drill Sgt
crossed his chest diagonally. Trickett

As he marched up and down, we could all see this impressive character, on
this, his kingdom of the parade square at least.

He’d made a few critical comments about others in the line, so I started to
feel a little more confident. This proved to be premature. He stopped right in
front of me. I must have one of those faces as I could see the hint of
recognition in his flashing eyes glaring at me critically from under the slashed
peak of his cap. Nervously, and unaware of the protocol on a parade
square, I found myself smiling.

They say that any sound above 85 decibels can damage hearing. Well his
bellow, right in my face couldn’t have been far from it.
“YOU!!” he said “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE GOT TO SMILE ABOUT, YOU
LOOK LIKE SOMETHING THE CAT DRAGGED IN. I’ll GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO
SMILE ABOUT, REPORT HERE TOMORROW MORNING AT 6AM, BE AT ATTENTION
LOOKING MORE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL POLICE OFFICER!”

Oh, my gawd, how low did I feel!

For the rest of the session, he slowly started teaching us the basics of
marching, about turns, left and right turns, how to halt properly, standing to
attention and standing easy. The enjoyment I should have had was
overshadowed by the shame of being singled out. Page46