Page 5 - July 2023

situations. In fact, failing to do so would
only perpetuate our own victimization!

The shadow side of the victim is what

we all must be aware of. There is a big
difference between being a victim and
playing the victim. Acknowledging our

victimhood empowers us to take action
and set boundaries. However, playing

the victim is a way for a part of us to
fulfill emotional needs and gain control
paradoxically. Recognizing this shadow

aspect is crucial for personal growth and
authentic connections.

The shadow side of the victim is feeling
powerless, defeated, deflated, and

perceiving life as “happening to us”
rather than “happening for us”. The

victim is often looking for an excuse to
avoid taking action and responsibility.
There is often a desire to be rescued

from challenging situations. A quote
I once heard sums it up beautifully:

“Victimhood is anything less than 100%
self-responsibility.” Amen to that!

How does a part of us get our emotional
needs met by playing the victim? By

playing the victim, we can talk ourselves
out of taking action or taking ownership.
By playing the victim, we continue to

point fingers, blame, and outsource
responsibility. Playing the victim role can

serve certain needs. It may elicit more
love and compassion from others and
attract rescuers who come to our aid.

However, using the powerless victim role
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