Page 18 - Edition Summer 22 News and Views revised 31.05.pub (Read-Only)

in a different school every fortnight, leading a different team of inspectors. These were people
that I had a professional relationship with, but we rarely had time to talk about our personal lives,
and we would probably never meet again; it was the kind of non-committal relationship that
suited me just fine.

Working away from home meant that David spent a lot of time on his own, which was not a
healthy situation for either of us. We decided to move to Bournemouth, which was one of the
best steps that we could have made at that time. My relationship with God had been severely
tested over the years. I had explored a number of spiritual journeys, visiting Baptist, Methodist,
Anglican, Catholic, United Reformed and other churches. All made me feel that, as a gay man I
was not welcome. I was excluded, always on the outside looking in. The best way that I can
describe it was searching ‘for the Light’, which was clearly not switched on for gay men and
women, and certainly not for me. Neither did I feel comfortable in the traditional ‘White Jesus’
worship, when I had read and began to explore Buddhism, Hinduism and other faiths. Why did I
have to choose a particular brand when I had already suspected that we were all sharing similar
faith experiences?

One day we found ourselves joining a service at the Metropolitan Community Church in
Bournemouth. It was a revelation and a treasured memory that I will never forget. David and I
entered the building and spotted a huge illuminated purple cross glowing from the front of the
church. The pastor at that time ran down the aisle to greet us, and beaming with arms
outstretched. “Welcome boys”, he said warmly, grasping our hands. It was the first genuine
welcome that we had ever received in a church, and it was wonderful to experience.

Metropolitan Community Church in Bournemouth was at that time best described as “a church
for broken people”. Gay, lesbian, transgendered, the confused, straight, alcoholics, the
homeless and the drug dependent were all welcome. It was a wonderful mix of humanity; we
learned so much and made many good friends, a large number of whom we are still in contact
with today. We both felt that we were meant to be there and savoured every moment of our new
relationship with the Spirit and our new-found friends. This church was also incredibly supportive
of David’s condition, and much of his growing recovery was due to the warmth, support and
blessing of this amazing community.

Over time we both began to feel uncomfortable with some of the theology and the ‘happy,
clappy’ side to worship. I was also uneasy about taking a white European Christian approach to
my relationship with God, or ‘the Light’ as I began to call it. As much as we admired the gifted
and inspirational pastor and his team, I had a strong feeling of “Why do I need a middleman in
my relationship with God?” Maybe I don’t, but I freely accept that there are many who do, and
find this relationship both comforting and reassuring. Who are we to judge? I started being
aware of the life and teachings of George Fox and other Quakers. Our pastor was about to leave
Bournemouth to take on a new challenge in the US, and for us it was also time to take the next
step in our spiritual journey. Bournemouth Quakers, here we come!

When we entered the Meeting House for the first time, we were warmly greeted by one of the
wardens who took time to explain what would happen at the Meeting. We met many other
wonderful, warm-hearted people who took us under their wings. We felt immediately at home

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