Page 104 - USA BOOK FINAL PDF---08-09-2020web-1_Neat-final

Self-reflection: A confused Kannadiga

Aradhana Nallur Srinagesh, MPH

I want to talk about something that isn’t discussed too often in our community or let
alone not at all; the societal pressure within the South Asian community.

I strongly believe that the South Asian youth, more than just peer-pressure, are victims
of “social pressure”. The choices made early on in life are driven from the idea of proving
themselves better than ‘uski beta or beti’. The hardest part begins when making that
career choice and goes that way for a very long time. By the time we realize, it’s already
too late to make changes.

The desi way is the silent way. In a community that preaches pride, we exude stoicism.
To admit to flaws in the community, would be to question the status that Indian Americans
enjoy within the Western society. The pressure to live up to this perceived societal
ranking has been one of the reasons that the South Asian youth choose not to voice
their emotional honesty.

During the first two years of undergrad, my grades in my science classes plummeted. A
formerly straight A student, the Bs I received my freshman year came as a shock. But by
sophomore year, those Bs turned into Cs. After barely passing my science classes, I knew
that going to medical school wasn’t in the cards for me. Not that I couldn’t do the work,
but, because my heart was not in it. I didn’t like the material and couldn’t commit to
caring enough to understand it. It was evident my interests in medical school specifically
were for all the wrong reasons.

It’s not hard to remember that gut-wrenching feeling, the moment I realized the life
I’d always envisioned - the one where I was a thriving neurosurgeon, making my parents
proud and their sacrifices worth it- wasn’t going to pan out that way I’d anticipated. For
the very first time in my life, I was completely unsure of myself and my purpose. Failing
was never an option, or at least I had thought. I had to take a step back and ask myself
“what do I want to do” rather than “what do people think I should do”. Without doubt,
I am fully aware I am not the only one.

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