Page 105 - USA BOOK FINAL PDF---08-09-2020web-1_Neat-final

I had to learn new — maybe untraditional — ways of finding what my true calling was.
Once I started the dialogue with my parents and explained why the medical school route
was not for me, I experienced a sense a relief and clarity. I used the societal pressure
as reason to not be honest with my parents, but more importantly, with myself. But, I
also worried. I worried what excuse would I use to hide that fact that I was not pursuing
medical school anymore. I did not want to give off a sense of defeat or failure. Because
of the societal pressure instilled, I worried I wouldn’t be taken seriously. I knew at this
point succeeding was the only option. Success meant acceptance. But this time, rather
than societal acceptance, it was self-acceptance. Through this journey, I found a way to
combine my initial interests of helping individuals and my newfound passion. I would
be lying if I said this journey wasn’t hard. Today, I am proud to say that I am a clinician
and researcher in the substance use field. I work towards increasing our knowledge,
incorporating research-based intervention and prevention models to improve clinical
practices, and eliminating treatment gaps within the minority population.

However, again, I find myself with the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty as I navigate
another untraditional path. I am in the process of applying to Clinical Psychology doctoral
programs for the second time. Unlike my earlier years, neither my parents nor I are silent
about this “failure”. We live in a world where the only metric is in comparison to other
people. We are careful with our stories. We edit them compulsively, so they seem less
raw, less painful. It is important we understand that everyone’s experiences are different
and not ones that are comparable to others.

I speak about my journey because I do not want anyone else to feel alone. You are not
alone. You deserve the best out of life and while we make many sacrifices on this journey,
you should not sacrifice your health and well-being to please others. You deserve a life
where happiness is the norm, not the exception. You deserve a life that does not feel
like a burden. For years, I convinced myself medical school is what I wanted. But, I never
asked myself “why do I want to become a doctor”. I equated becoming a doctor to being
accepted in our community.

As the future of our South Asian community, it is imperative that we normalize the
conversation by speaking about our experiences. Communities can strengthen once we
stop clinging on to the idealized definition of perfection. We are more than “uska beta
or beti”. I want to see my community break barriers and social norms. I want our current
and future generationsto successfully pursue their passions and achieve their wildest
dreams.

I dedicate this article to my parents for supporting my wildest dreams and making me
the person I am today, my organic true-self.

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