Page 32 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

OCTOBER 23, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
President Trump stopped in Pensacola today to reassure his base that he was still in the race. He appealed to approximately 100 people on the tarmac in front of the STD Hangar at the Pensacola International Airport.
Gulping a Diet Coke, the president pleaded with the small audience, “Vote early, bring your friends, your family, your neighbors, your help, your boss, your co-workers, your yard crew, your house painters and roofers. Vote for me and I’ll pay you back! I won’t forget it.”
Despite trailing Biden in Florida polls, Trump continued to insist that Covid-45 is a non-issue, "We understand the disease. I understand it better than you. I had it. What the hell was that all about, right? I'm working to make the antibody treatment I received free to anybody who needs it. You'll have 100 million vaccine doses before the end of the year, and maybe sooner."
The audience’s favorite speaker appeared to be Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz who declared, "I hope Joe Biden's got his dental records on file because that's probably how they'll have to identify the body after Donald Trump put such a beat down on him over that 90 minutes of a debate."
Following his death wish, Rep. Gaetz boasted, "My district has the highest concentration of active-duty military in the country, and we will elect Donald Trump. We’ve elected presidents before. We know how to do it. Because you know what, President Obama, this is the place where we do cling to our guns and our Bibles."