Page 34 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

OCTOBER 25, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
It was announced today that five people in vice president Pence’s inner circle tested positive for Covid-45 in the past couple of days, including his chief of staff Marc Short. Short’s diagnosis was known yesterday, but was hushed up by Trump’s chief of staff Mark Meadows until everyone involved agreed on the message and story angle.
On CNN’s State of the Union today, Meadows denied that he suppressed anything, but simply wanted to protect Short’s privacy, “I didn’t want to rat the guy out, he didn’t deserve that,” Meadows said. He went on to admit that the administration had no plans “to control the pandemic...because it is a contagious virus.”
Reportedly, Mr. Pence and Mother Karen have tested negative every day for the past 30 days, which led to his decision to continue campaigning as if nothing had changed. According to Meadows, Pence is following CDC guidelines for “essential workers,” which discounts any need for quarantine. “Essential workers” are generally defined as health care workers, law enforcement, fire department employees and other persons who risk their lives daily to help or protect the citizenry of the country. Clearly, the vice president is a “nonessential worker” in every sense and meaning of the phrase.
Pence is scheduled to hold a rally in Hibbing MN tomorrow at 1pm
at the Range Regional Airport in defiance of the state’s Covid-45 event guidelines. Rather than abide by Minnesota guidelines, the Trump