Page 36 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

OCTOBER 26, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
Vice president Pence flew to Hibbing MN this afternoon to show Trump supporters in this mining region that he was “still alive and kicking keister,” according to his chief of staff Marc Short who remained
in Washington D.C. against his better judgment after testing positive for Covid-45.
The event kicked off with a prayer from Rob Farnsworth, a special education teacher and real estate agent in Hibbing who is running for Minnesota State Representative.
“Let’s pray for our great Northland, the best place in the world to buy property, which is selling like hotcakes due to the China Virus. God Almighty, thank you for sending Republicons to us from the Twin Cities where everything burned to the ground. Today, we pray for vice president Pence. Lord oh Lord, please help Mr. Pence remain faithful
to his Mother Karen and their pet bunny Marlon Bundo or BOTUS, the Bunny of the United States. Give him strength so he can continue to rule his born-again-and-again Christian household. Mr. Pence has been steadfast and obedient in all you told him to do, so we ask that you honor him by keeping him free from the China Virus.”
“Please, please Lord, pray for our Iron Range, where iron ore and its baby brother, taconite, are king. Please bring us copper-nickel mining by infecting all of its opponents with the China Plague. Say a prayer for red-collar workers. Pray that they do not have to work two jobs like me. Pray that they win the lottery. Pray that copper-nickel mining explodes on the Iron Range. Pray for our great hockey players.