Page 37 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

Pray for MAGA hats and chicken wings. Pray for our campaign anthem, ‘Taking Care of Business.’ Jesus Christ, we pray day and night. Amen.”
At 1:53pm, three black Chevrolet Suburbans pulled up to Air Force Two’s jetway. A gaggle of journalists and Secret Service agents descended the steps and quickly dispersed. Thirty minutes passed before Pence’s dramatic entrance at the plane’s door to the hymn,
“All Right Now.” Running to the podium, he waved to a crowd of 50-60 people, shouting, “The Iron Range is Trump Country!” Standing behind a small podium flanked by 10 American flags, he tore off his mask and rubbed his hands together. He was greeted by light snow, a brisk wind and 25 degrees. A faint halo appeared over this head.
Pence’s brief speech included no mention of his five staff members who tested positive for Covid-45 in the past couple of days. He praised Trump effusively for saving lives by restricting (some) travel from China, while virus-infected Europeans and Americans were pouring into New York City.
Pence also declared that Trump is the “most pro-life president in history” and the “greatest champion of faith to ever sit in the Oval Office.”
He neglected to mention that Pope Francis had not only visited the White House in 2015, but he waved from the Blue Room Balcony with President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama at his side.
This story will be updated if Trump and Pence ever do penance.