Page 60 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

NOVEMBER 2, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
This morning, a White House source close to the president disclosed that Trump plans to vastly expand his pardon tally after the election if the popular and/or electoral vote is not to his liking. To date, he has pardoned more individuals than any president since Andrew Johnson in the 1860s.
Another source that insisted on speaking off the record disclosed that the president is scared “sh-tless” about his future outside the cocoon of his personal Protection State. The Federal Court in the Southern District of New York (SDNY) has been investigating Trump since 2017 after he silenced two mistresses with payoffs in violation of campaign finance law. The scope of the court’s interest has since expanded to include, at this writing, charges of tax fraud, obstruction of justice, tax evasion, numerous violations of the emoluments clause of the U.S. Constitution, bribery, profiteering from foreign governments, links to organized crime and falsifying business records.
Currently, Trump is protected because he cannot be prosecuted as a sitting president. However, if he is defeated and can be pried out of the White House, all bets are off. It is not clear whether the president can pardon himself, so he devised a “fail-safe” plan to preemptively pardon everyone connected to his administration – past and present – who could be called to testify against him.
The list includes his entire cabinet, heads of all federal agencies, as well as Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, George Papadopoulos, Rick Gates,