Page 59 - TheLeekLoserEdition_1

next stop. We’ve rehearsed the drill many times and being a highly skilled and famous television personality, he knows how and when to hit his marks.”
The reporter pressed, “His hopscotch flight route covers 13,079 air miles, which is impossible to pull off in one day. The flight time alone would be 30 hours and 17 minutes. How can that work?”
McEnemy continued, “The president promised that he could do it. Like all of the president’s promises, he keeps them – sometimes to himself, sometimes to his supporters, always to his donors. His supporters are very loyal and will subject themselves to any weather to see the president and to hear updates on the radical leftwing, crazy Democrats and their leader, sleepy Joe Biden and his co-conspirator Comma Harris. If that means staying up all night, they will do it. If it means missing meals, they will do it. If it means going to the hospital with sunstroke or frostbite, they will happily do it. However, they will not wear a mask and stand six silly feet apart because they believe the president when he says that the China Virus is OVER, OVER, OVER. The American people have had enough. They don’t want to hear about it anymore. They’re sick and tired of being locked in their basements. They’ve run out of recipes. They want to eat again – in a real restaurant. They want to cough, cough again. They want to go to funerals again. They want to have fun again.”
This story will be updated when coughing is made great again.