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According to White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, President Trump’s sole remaining adviser, Stephen Miller, authored the new poem. “Stephen is such an asset to the Trump administration and the Trump family. He is multitalented, obedient and unrivaled in his ability to disguise himself when necessary,” reported Sanders.
When asked what prompted the re-write, Sanders replied, “Let’s face it, the original poem is not relevant today. Like who’s the Greek giant and who cares? And Mother of Exiles — give me a break. Those are exactly the women we don’t want in our country. The president thought we needed to get with the times and that’s the message Stephen so masterfully crafted. The president was so high on Stephen’s words that he ordered a duplicate plaque for the Oval Office.”
When asked whose portrait the plaque would replace, Sanders pointed to her throat, raised her eyebrows and nodded her head in the negative.
This story will be updated as new information becomes available.