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OCTOBER 29, 2018 BREAKING NEWS
President Trump called a press briefing today to announce that 5,200 additional U.S. active-duty military men would be dispatched to the Texas border to meet the Honduran caravan making its way toward the U.S. border. He went on to say that the Army, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard would all contribute personnel and equipment to the mission he called Operation Faithful Patriot.
Pretending to read from a teleprompter, the president said, “Frankly, this was a no-brainer. I called Jared, Ivanka, Bolton and Miller into my office after lunch, told them what I wanted. They gave me the thumbs up and here I am. Frankly, I thought it would take at least 15 minutes, but it only took five.”
When asked why no women would be deployed on the mission, the president replied, “Frankly, I didn’t think they could do it. This is an invasion of dangerous drug dealers, rapists and Muslims, not a wimpy caravan of kids and families that the fake news media calls it. We must have our toughest hombres out there to seal off the border with whatever it takes. You name it — concrete, stainless steel, titanium, cement blocks, Jersey barriers made in New Jersey — frankly, to stop these criminal hoards, nothing is off limits.”
When asked who named the mission Operation Faithful Patriot, the president spread his arms, pointed his thumbs at his chest and said, “The whole idea behind it was mine. I pictured Operation Loyal Subjects,