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but Ivanka thought Faithful Patriot had a better ring to it. Who knew that my drop-dead gorgeous Ivanka had such beautiful words in her. We’ve already put in an order for 25,000 hats that will go fast at $39.99. Frankly, I wouldn’t wait to pick some up for Christmas gifts — that’s CHRISTMAS, not elitist liberal HOLIDAY gifts.”
Jim Acosta, here, Mr. President. “The so-called caravan is still 1,000 miles away. At the rate they are walking, it will take at least seven months to reach our southern border. If you factor in weather and unforeseen problems, it could be a year. So why is this operation such a rush?”
“Crazy Jim, you always ask the dumbest questions but I’ll let you have this one,” the president responded. “HELL—O, the midterms
are less than two weeks away. We gotta energize our base and keep the momentum up. We’re making hay with the bomb stuff, the Pittsburgh shooting stuff, that damn journalist thing in the Middle East, these disgusting invaders coming up from somewhere south
of the border and God knows, anything else I can dream up. Just wait and you’ll see, it will be powerful covfefe.”
This story will be updated as new information becomes available.