Page 39 - TheLeek_1
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Reportedly, the president and first lady have not spoken by phone, text or Secret Service communiqué. An unidentified White House spokesperson said that the president stayed in bed all morning, fixated on Fox News, his customary breakfast of a bucket of thighs, six biscuits and three Diet Cokes. He was seen slipping Stephen Miller a C-note, presumably to call KFC because his personal attendants were also furloughed.
President Trump instructed Miller to hold all calls except from Sean Hannity and Alex Jones who had previously planned to entertain him with some juicy Christmas invective.
The New York Times tried to reach the president’s sons and daughter Ivanka for comment, but they had mysteriously disappeared. Rumors quickly spread that they flew to Saudi Arabia to celebrate Christmas and pick up $5.7 billion in unmarked bills from Mohammed bin Salman for the president’s beautiful border wall — or fence, or steel slats or metaphor, or whatever pops into his head tomorrow.”
This story will be updated as new information becomes available.
