Page 40 - TheLeek_1

DECEMBER 27, 2018 BREAKING NEWS
Prime Minister Theresa May announced this morning on BBC 5 that British citizen and alien Mark Burnett created Donald Trump, the man and the brand, as well as his successful campaign for U.S. President. “I sincerely apologize for the appalling delay in bringing this news to the world’s attention. Brexit has consumed me but I am determined to correct my failing with every fiber of my being,” the prime minister confessed.
A former British paratrooper, nanny and salesman, Burnett arrived in Los Angeles in 1982 to seek fame and fortune. After two nanny jobs, his hopes momentarily dimmed. But against gargantuan odds, he accomplished notoriety and raked in billions when he dreamed up
The Apprentice, handpicking a laughingstock, no-name real estate developer, Donald J. Trump, to star in his reality show. The Apprentice became the highest rated show in the history of television. “Mr. Burnett set the table for the most dreadful meal we sincerely hope, will never, ever be repeated,” Mrs. May declared emphatically.
Until the prime minister’s disclosure, few people knew that Burnett landed in Hollywood with no money, no green card, no family connections, nothing. A self-described “quintessential immigrant,” Burnett never became an American citizen, naturalized citizen, migrant worker, foreign worker or permanent resident. He was a non-resident alien and, reportedly, he was proud of it.
“The affair between Mr. Burnett and President Trump, a vehement opponent of U.S. border intrusion, is rather frightful,” the prime minister mused.