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for me? That’s crazy! Mitch, take notes. I want an executive order saying no more free rides for Puerto Rico, got that?” the president ordered.
“Mr. President, sir, we should discuss this privately. There are some extenuating issues that make this complicated,” McConnell countered.
“Ex—what?” the president snorted.
“Well, Puerto Ricans must pay Social Security and serve in the military. You are their president even though they could not vote for you. And, oh yes, they compete in the Miss Universe pageant as an independent nation,” McConnell recited.
The president’s face turned scarlet red. “Are you telling me that they have the nerve to enter MY PAGEANT, without getting my permission and paying ME?
“Um, actually, Mr. President, you sold Miss Universe in 2015, er, not the ladies but the pageant. If you remember, and you surely do, Puerto Rico paid $2.5 million in 2001 to host the pageant,” McConnell reported.
“I remember clearly that I got screwed. Other countries paid millions more. I sent Cohen to negotiate that deal. He lost big time, and has been the world’s biggest loser ever since. This meeting is over,” the president ordered.
This story will be updated as new information becomes available.