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Trump will head to Calexico CA on Friday to see the situation with his own eyes. According to Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, if Mexico doesn’t stop the drugs at the border by April 8, 2020, the president really promises to shut down the border and put tariffs on cars and avocados.
People can go without cars, but if the president forces people to go without avocados, there will be riots in the streets. According to a Nobel-prize winning economist who prefers to remain anonymous, “The President shouldn’t act so cocky. National Guard troops, the largest avocado consumer group in the country, will be rioting, too.”
Meanwhile, the administration is doubling the number of H-1B visas from 33,000 to 66,000, effective immediately, to assist the president in staffing his golf resorts with low-wage earners whom he and his family can abuse with impunity.
This story will be updated as new information becomes available.