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had to be done before we raised a generation of wimps who were too weak to do anything except read. He agreed totally, which brings us here today.”
“We will fight this junk lawsuit with our last breath,” Perdue continued. “We will fight it arm-in-arm with processed food lobbyists across this great nation because mommas and daddies won’t stand for their kids eating weird stuff nobody’s ever heard of, like KEEN-WAH salad, KALE cakes and BROWN-YUCK pasta.”
In joining the lawsuit, Minnesota’s Attorney General Keith Ellison said, “We’re standing up for kids and quality food and we’re making sure the administration follows the law.”
In chiding lawsuit participants, Perdue said, “I wouldn’t be as big as I am today without chocolate milk.” Perdue reportedly weighs 318 pounds. His height could not be verified, and his health history was not available at press time.
This story will be updated as new information becomes available.