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The M1A1 carries a crew of three — commander, gunner and driver — and only one passenger, the president, who must learn to use ropes, straps and snap links to secure himself. It has no windows so the president will not be able to wave to his fawning supporters as he rumbles by. Melanoma Trump will not be able to accompany him unless she follows in her own Third Lady tank.
The president will have to seek and be granted a variance to change the M1A1’s olive green exterior to MAGA graphics and to drive on
city streets, which is now prohibited. In accordance with his current Goodyear tire-equipped limo, the M1A1 will include an American-made refrigerator full of the president’s own blood type.
When asked for comment, the White House replied, “President Trump is very excited about the idea of having his very own military tank because soldiers are ‘in love’ with him. Traveling in an Abrams Limo Tank is the least he can do to demonstrate his solidarity with the troops who always rush up to him for hugs and kisses.”
This story will be updated with photos when the tank is delivered to the White House.
