Page 39 - TheLeekCovidEdition_1

Jim Acosta pressed, “But Dr. Stone, didn’t the president have a severe reaction to the bleach?”
“Miraculously, no,” the doctor replied. “We have never witnessed anyone ingest bleach, much less guzzle it, and survive. This is a very disturbing and concerning outcome because the vast majority, if not all Americans who emulate the president will drop dead from their hero worship. I am reluctant to repeat the president’s words but SO SAD.”
Late today, it was verified that the president carried, and probably spread, Covid-45 at his private fundraiser and rally in Minnesota on Wednesday, in spite of the fact he did not announce his test result until Friday.
According to an undisclosed source who attended the fundraiser, “President Trump seemed to be his lecherous self. He kissed all the women on the cheek and I saw his hand disappear behind the back of a few blondes. I caught what sounded like an indignant four-letter word, looked up and noticed Ivanka slapping his hand away. Rather playfully, I thought at the time. The party was cut short so Mr. Trump could head to Duluth for a rally, or so we were told. He seamed to be a bit unsteady on his feet as he exited the house. Looking back, it was probably a sign.”
This developing story will be updated if other new miracles occur.