Page 38 - TheLeekCovidEdition_1

October 3, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
At a press conference this morning, a member of Trump’s medical team at Walter Reed appeared weary when he reported that the president has “turned the corner” on Covid-45 and is expected to be discharged sometime today.
According to Dr. John Stone, the president’s primary physician, “Truthfully, having the president as a patient has been a very arduous experience. For several hours he denied that he had a fever even though our staff repeatedly showed him his temperature reading.
He insisted on bleach treatment, and our staff was ultimately forced to capitulate to his demand. After receiving the first course of treatment, his face turned ashen from its usual orange, of course enraging the president. Our staff tried to calm him down by replacing our hospital-issue pillow with a MyPillow, but it did nothing to quell the president’s agitation.”
Dr. Stone, Jim Acosta here. A follow-up if I may. “Would you please tell us more about how and why your team capitulated to Mr. Trump’s bleach treatment demand?”
“Please believe me when I say that we resisted at every turn, and
tried to persuade the president that there is absolutely zero medical evidence to support the efficacy of bleach in any form for any disease, much less coronavirus. We were sharply repudiated by the president who claimed that he was on the shortlist for a Nobel Prize, which immediately closed the door on any productive discussion.”