Page 46 - TheLeekCovidEdition_1

October 7, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
Last night, the first and only vice presidential debate was held at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, moderated by Susan Page from USA Today. Plexiglass shields were erected between the candidates who were seated more than 12 feet apart. Vice president Pence strongly objected to the shields, but was forced to concede after his office phone system blew up over a tsunami of irate TikTok callers.
Predictably, the first question concerned the coronavirus. Senator Harris called out the Trump administration for unconscionable failure in covering up the threat, calling the virus a hoax, predicting that it would suddenly disappear, and sales pitches to the public on bogus cures.
Mr. Pence took strong exception to his opponent’s characterization, “Let me inform you, missy, President Trump put Americans first from day one. In fact, he started taking action before day one, by closing our borders to sickos from around the world right after he took office in 2017. China virus was not invented at the time, but it is common knowledge that president Trump is a genius at predicting the future. He knew that Xi had dirty tricks up his sleeve before anyone else in the world. Let me tell you....”
Moderator Page meekly interjected to inform Pence that his two-minute time allotment was up, “Thank you, vice president Pence, thank you, but you have used up your time and we have to move....”
“Rules, schmules,” Mr. Pence interrupted. “You cut off my words of truth but you allow her to utter lies ad nauseam,” Pence continued, his index finger taking aim at Senator Harris through his plexiglass partition,