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October 9, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
White House physician Dr. Sean Conley just announced that president Trump will receive a “second opinion” on his miraculous Covid-45 recovery tonight on Tucker Carlson’s show on Fox News.
The pre-taped, telephone examination will be conducted by Dr. Marc Siegel, a Fox contributor. The sixty-four year-old “doctor” is still nine credits short of completing his medical degree at NYU Langone Medical Center.
A spokesman for NYU Langone said that Marc Siegel is not trained or authorized to conduct telehealth visits, much less on national television. Its efforts to secure a restraining order against Siegel’s television appearance have so far been unsuccessful.
When Dr. Siegel’s agent was contacted and probed about the nature of the questions he would ask the president, the talent agency receptionist revealed several interesting tidbits. Louise (a pseudonym) divulged that Dr. Siegel aimed to unravel Mr. Trump’s unconscious with a Word Association Test (WAT). For example, “When I say hot, you say Ivanka. When I say money, you say mine. When I say news, you say fake. When you say potato, I say poTAHtoe.” Siegel has spent the better part of a year identifying 100 words that have the highest likelihood of triggering Trump’s prospects for permanent Covid-45 recovery.
The cost of a telehealth visit for the average American is $19. For the president, Dr. Siegel will charge American taxpayers $10,000. It is