Page 59 - TheLeekCovidEdition_1
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Everything free in America For a small fee in America
Lots of new housing with more space, Lots of doors slamming in our face
Life is all right in America
If you’re all white in America
Free to be anything you choose Free to wait tables and shine shoes
Since his inauguration, the president has eschewed all federal laws, rules and norms when they suit his personal agenda. He has used the military – band members, active duty troops and veterans – liberally and disparagingly, to rile up his base. Today, he did not disappoint by pandering to Puerto Ricans in a most appalling way.
When asked why the president insisted on an all-male military band, press secretary Kayleigh McEnema replied via email, “Without exception, President Trump makes all of his decisions based on science. Musicologists, which are scientists of music, have advised the president that men are far better at blowing their horns than women. There were a few military women’s bands in World War II, but they were eliminated for not being loud enough.”
At the conclusion of the president’s 18-minute rant-speech, he motioned to an aide who wheeled out a palette of paper towels. Attendees pretended to go wild as the president proceeded to toss rolls into the crowd.
