Page 6 - TheLeekCovidEdition_1

July 11, 2020 BREAKING NEWS
Donald Trump was seen wearing a mask for the first time when
he emerged — “double-thumbs up” — from his armored limousine this morning at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland.
A reporter described the mask as navy blue with a 24-carat gold — Trump boasted — presidential seal embroidered on the lower far-right side. Its color was indistinguishable from Trump’s navy blue suit.
A Confederate flag pin adorned his jacket’s lapel, and a crotch-length red tie accented the ensemble. He was observed wearing sneakers instead of his usual leather-soled shoes, presumably to prevent slipping on the tufted red carpet leading into the building; a Secret Service agent who steadied Mr. Trump called the carpet “perilous.”
When the same reporter questioned the lapel pin, Trump replied, “What a stupid question. Thanks to the FAKE NEWS media, FLAGGATE is the greatest political scandal in the history of our VERY United States. The Confederate flag is red, white and blue with stars on it. The U.S. flag is red, white and blue with stars on it. So what’s your beef? The flag with the beautiful cross is my favorite. It proves that I am religious and patriotic at the same time. I love
the poorly educated men and women who fly it and vote for me. Their enthusiasm for Trump is unbelievable and amazing to see.”
Speaking on the record earlier in the morning, his daughter-adviser-dish Ivanka announced that she had personally designed the mask and