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14 DurhamCitizen.ca June 21, 2021

“ Some of the men most vulnerable to depression and suicide are racialized men, HEALTH LIFESTYLE
&
particularly men of Black and South Asian descent and Indigenous men.

Getting men to open up

about mental health

getting therapy might be more since the pandemic started.
“People would often spend time
comfortable with the same service
“ if it’s called “life coaching” or with friends, or sports, or whatever
else, as an outlet for their stress,” he
“executive coaching,” Turnbull
said.
said.
One of the saddest parts “We’re comfortable with the idea of “Their social interactions have
a coach, because it implies a been cut off, and their isolation has
of men feeling unable to
c o r p o r a t e o r o f c o l l e g i a l gone up a lot.”
seek out mental health
A lot of people, across all ages and problems is the damage done by interaction,” he said. “Mind you, One of the saddest parts of men
d e m o g r a p h i c s , d o n’t f e e l rigorously enforced gender roles. help is that they’re denying having known people who played feeling unable to seek out mental
comfortable talking about their Corey Turnbull is a therapist based themselves something that football and held their coach in health help is that they’re denying
own mental health. But when it in Toronto who offers counselling could make them healthier high regard, there’s definitely some themselves something that could
comes to men, there’s an ongoing and coaching to men. “Getting and more powerful. emotional stuff that comes up in make them healthier and more
mental health crisis. men to feel more comfortable with those relationships.” powerful.
Seventy-five per cent of Canadians the idea of seeking therapy is a key There’s that fear of being “There’s that fear of being weak,
who die by suicide every year are goal of mine,” he explained. weak, that keeps people Younger men are more open to that keeps people out of therapy,”
men, with middle-aged and older Lots of men won’t get mental out of therapy. But therapy therapy than their dads or he said. “But therapy makes people
men especially at risk. Some of the health help because of outdated makes people strong.” grandfathers strong.”
men most vulnerable to depression ideas of masculinity, Turnbull said, Most of Turnbull’s clients are in
and suicide are racialized men, particularly a sense that men need their late 20s or 30s, with a handful Starting the therapy process
particularly men of Black and to be “self-reliant” and shouldn’t of men older than that. Over the It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by
S o u t h A s i a n d e s c e n t ask for help. last few years, he’s seen a “new the idea of figuring out how to
and Indigenous men. And suicide Men think about “how they time. “The friend thought it was pattern” among men younger than start.
has also surpassed HIV as the perceive themselves in terms of ‘just talking about his feelings’ and 30. A good first step is to identify
leading cause of death for gay and what it means to be masculine,” he not doing anything useful ... If “That group seems to be a lot more whether there’s something in
bisexual men in Canada. Trans said. there’s a perception that it’s not open to new ideas, and much more particular you want to focus on,
men, too, are at a high risk of “There’s this idea that they should useful, that’s something that is an open to therapy in general,” he said. whether that’s anxiety, addiction,
suicide, particularly in their youth. be able to deal with their own impediment barrier to going into “But I think that’s changed a bit less body image, or whatever else.
The COVID-19 pandemic has problems, that they don’t want to therapy.” for people over that age group.” Googling that issue and your area
exacerbated existing mental rely on someone else. It’s a Presenting therapy as something He’s also seen a lot of clients who will lead you to a lot of options, and
health problems for everyone. resistance to vulnerability.” that can help more tangibly might sought therapy at their girlfriends’ you can take your time figuring out
Canadians are reporting higher help men understand its use, he urging, he said. someone who’s going to be the
levels of stress and more mental Men who are reluctant to seek said. Since the pandemic started, a right fit.
health concerns. According to a therapy might not have a clear “Guys, oftentimes, like more of number of people have wanted to Most therapists offer free phone
survey by the Canadian Mental sense of what it’s actually like what they feel is a practical, talk about communication and consultations, so you can chat with
Health Association, the percentage “I think some men have this problem-solving approach, or at relationships. them to get a better sense of
of people reporting suicidal preconceived idea that titles like least feel more comfortable with “Couple are spending a lot more whether you two can work
thoughts has jumped from 2.5 per ‘psychotherapist’ are connected that as an entry point.” time together, and I’ve found any together.
cent last year to 6 per cent this exclusively to the emotions,” he issue that was there previously If you don’t have benefits and can’t
spring. said. One of his clients once had a Small tweaks in language might tends to be a little amplified,” he afford a therapist, get in touch with
But there’s often a male reluctance friend try to talk him out trying make a difference said. And single men, too, are your family doctor to see if they
to seek help, and one of the major therapy, thinking it was a waste of Someone who has a resistance to dealing with increased isolation have any recommendations.

10 simple ways to make your

life better, starting today

Contrary to popular Be grateful for what you have. entitled, you are pushing away
When you stop to remember what things and people you might like.
belief, you don’t have you have instead of worrying
to make drastic about what you may not be 5. Don’t ignore your emotions,
getting, it changes your but remember that feelings
changes in order to perspective for the better. aren’t facts.
notice an improvement Emotions need to be
2. Start your day the night honoured—they don’t have to be
in the quality of before. justified—but just because you
your life. The most successful people I have a feeling doesn’t mean that
know end their workday by you are right.
making a list of what they have to
do the following day or two ahead. 6. Watch out for negative
The world is full of opportunities, This allows the subconscious to thinking. some control over our lives. Just We all fake it from time to time
but sometimes too much thinking work on things while you sleep. Sometimes we get into negative do it. and once in a while, this can be a
can get in the way. feedback loops and don’t even good thing, but never
Changing your life for the better is 3. Be ready to grow up. know it. If 8. Drop your resentments. compromise your personal values
about picking a destination and Adults have the ability to learn to thoughts of being helpless and We all have them. Whether they and always strive to be your best
taking one step at a time to get delay gratification, but we also hopeless continue to enter your are toward our parents, partners, self.
there. If you try to take shortcuts, have a choice as to how to behave mind, you might just need to take or peers, resentments take up too
you may actually end up making when things don’t go our way. If a nap or perhaps talk with much psychic space to allow us to 10. Enjoy a part of every day.
your journey longer and more you remember to take the high someone who can help. function properly. By choosing to Look for those little bright
arduous. road, you’ll end up where you drop them, you will make your life moments that happen all the time
Getting serious about making want to be. 7. Set up and stick to a routine. much lighter. But the hardest part but that we often fail to recognize.
improvements is a great start, and 4. Drop the attitude. We are creatures of habit; and is making the decision to let your Make a point of seeing some good
taking action is the next If you think the world owes you a good habits, such as getting resentments go. in every day, and you will change
important step. living, you might want to regular exercise, make us feel your life.
Here, then, are 10 tips to help you reevaluate your position. It is better. Maintaining good habits 9. Know who you really are,
start improving your life:1. quite possible that, by feeling also helps us feel that we have and learn to honour yourself.